Journal Entry 12: My Home Is a Storm

Jesus, if you’re not in it, I don’t want it.

Journal Entry 12: My Home Is a Storm

Sometimes my home is a storm of laughter/joy and sometimes my home is a storm of, well, chaos, frustration, and arguments. I think for some there is this misconception that a Christian based home is supposed to be all sunshine and cool breezes. A Christian home is still a home full of human beings from large to small, young to old, male and female. We humans are flawed sinners that are broken; that, are just coming into this world and don’t know what to do half the time. Christian homes, like most, suffers learning curves, experiences ups and downs, and still deals with struggles. These struggles come as worldly, individual, and family struggles. What is the difference between a worldly home and a Christian home is Jesus.

The difference with a Christian home is we have a guidebook, the holy Bible. We have our savior Jesus Christ who gives us hope, faith, and shows us love. Jesus taught us how to live a good life and how to treat each other. Jesus showed us what the point of all this is. Christian homes know that they have Jesus Christ to lean on in the good and bad times.

Worldly homes have their truths thrown up in the wind by one movement or another. Worldly homes guidebooks change with each new social movement. There’s no balance and there’s no one to lean on that’s powerful enough, who loves enough, to actually hold you up and rescue your loved ones.

My own household will be my example. This is part of why I started the journal entry to give y’all real life examples of what I know through real life experiences. When I first started being a father almost 2 decades ago, I was more focused on discipline than teaching the way of Jesus. Later I got more comfortable being a father, little bit older, and more mature in my faith. Understanding that there had to be a demonstration of my own actions, my own desires for Jesus, I began to show that and teach it. This sounds like common sense, but at the time I was young and just didn’t know. That's why we grow, to get smarter, to gain wisdom; although, I hope you are faster than I was.

To prove my point about growing and learning, this week I’ve had to sit my family down. We’ve had to hash out some difficulties that’s been having to do with me trying to find a balance between teaching and being an example of love. Some of this is having expectations and rules that are set and don’t change. Another part is disciplines that are equal to the problems that come up. Examples of faith and love like me teaching from the Bible at dinner time and making sure we get to church. Showing love through time and sacrifice on my part for them.

One of the biggest things I’ve ran into is that I don’t maintain a foundational base of rules and expectations. My problem is that I tend to give a lot of mercy or I’m tired and I just let that moment pass and I move on. I’ll of had a long day, still have things to do that night, and I’ll sum up the child’s behavior by telling them to go to bed. I will be the first to admit that this is not how you should run a family. Telling a kid to just go to bed is lazy and it’s giving up. I was just not wanting to put a great deal of effort into things after dealing with a long day. I can’t be a good example that way, and I can’t lead that way.

I have grown laxed with my 16-year-old. He got a job, which I’d helped him get. Then I took a step back and just let him start becoming his own man. Problem is he didn't start becoming his own man; he started playing video games and staying up all night drinking energy drinks and going to work. That was enough for him. Me, knowing the world we live in does not care how you feel or how unfair you think things are, needed to wake my son up. You can’t just get by making sandwiches, not going after Jesus, and also not pursuing anything further in your life.

Being his dad it’s my job to try and set him up for life. For starters I put up a rule that he had to lay off the energy drinks or he’d lose his allowance. WHY: Energy drinks are harmful and will leave him off balance. Best to try and stop this now; before, it gets to the point where he is hurting and having health issues.

He’s been getting a rough temper at his computer, so I told him he’d have to control himself or I’d take the power cord. WHY: I don’t have too many problems with video games, but when you’re yelling at the game, hitting and breaking your own belongings, it’s time for boundaries. My son must learn self-control.

We’ve been given him rides from place to place. No more. He gets rides to work and home, but any extras are denied until he’s back on track with his schooling. As in, going to an online school, and doing the modules for his high-school diploma. WHY: Life is hard enough when you have skills and education. Having no skills and no education is not going to get anyone far, legally.

Not trying to throw my 16-year-old under the bus, I am trying to show an example of the struggles within a Christian home. In reality my teenager is way better than I was at his age. He’s given his life to Christ and gotten saved, though he’s struggling to keep focus. He doesn’t do drugs, hasn’t got anyone knocked up, and for the most part is a respectful, hardworking, young man. He just needs some motivation and perhaps an attitude change from the funk he’s been in.

Some people must fight things a lot harder than trying to move forward with their teenager's life. My oldest put the family through a run with drugs, teen pregnancy, more drugs, runaway, and just a lot of mess. She was a good kid struggling with things as her mom ran out on the family, dad was trying to survive at the time, and unfairly life hit her with little support at the time. I failed as a father, her mother failed, and our oldest looked to others that weren’t good people. WARNING: Don’t let your kids slip by; while, you’re dealing with life. Find a way to be there for them even if it’s only a few minutes a day. I learned this life lesson the hard way.

          In a wrap up, our 13yr. old is a “know-it-all.” Our 11yr. old has come into her young preteen years with some sassiness that is partly my fault. (She’s my miracle baby that was supposed to be a still born. My entire church was praying over the pregnancy, and when she came out she was, for no explain reason besides Jesus is good, she was healthy.) Raine, my 11yr. old was also only 6 months old; when her mother left. I let Raine get away with more than usual; because, she’d never had a mother. I know now that was not a good excuse, but it’s what I did at the time. We have a 5, 3, and 1yr. old with my new wife, Rainy, and they’re giving us a run for our money as most little kids do. We’re a family, and we got struggles, but we also have Jesus.

          Our home has downs, it has frustrating moments, and it’s never going to be perfect. That is why we need Jesus, and this is why my home will worship the lord. On the upside, our kids laugh, they want to be with us and in what’s going on from dinner to front-yard-games. We eat together around the dinner table, share stories of our day, and read a kids bible with silly pictures that hopefully helps them connect a little to Jesus. We’re a Christian home, and we have love and stress in truck loads. We survive, the parents for sure, on Jesus.

          My home with the my X was a home without Jesus. I went in a saved man, but I did not act like a saved man. There’s a difference between a Christian who lives and loves Jesus Christ, and Christian who claims the title but doesn’t know Jesus. I was the later version at first, and it took a life shattering change for me to become the Christian who lives and loves after Jesus. The new home we live in today, same house, but now with a good Christian foundation between me and my wife Rainy is different. Our home, now, has hope, faith, and love. We still have challenges and stress, but we fight them differently and with hope and prayer.