Journal Entry 25: Back To Work

Jesus, if you’re not in it, I don’t want it.

Journal Entry 25: Back To Work

Today was my first day back to work. For the last 2.5 weeks I’ve been home with my wife, several children, and our newborn, I do this to help my wife during her recovery time. Rainy still has several weeks of recovery to go after giving birth to little Ember, but I am out of paid vacation days to stay home and still pay bills. So, off to work I go, and I hope Rainy is healed up enough to survive the first part of the days without me. I already miss my family.

For the better part of 2.5 weeks, I got to be there in the morning with my kids, and I loved it. Sent my middle schooler and 5th grader off to school with love; they ride bikes/walk to school. Drove my pre-k kid to her school, and after that it was home to get the two toddlers up for morning breakfast. Sil and Arena are awesome morning girls. They greet you with big smiles, goofy faces, and morning laughter that is addictive. I looked forward to getting them up in the morning, because they were always a double shot of happiness. I told my wife I can see why she doesn’t mind having the babies at home with her; they’re just so happy. My wife is the opposite when she wakes up, so they didn’t get it from her.

Being home also allowed me to spend a great deal more time helping and hanging out with my wife. She spent a lot of the time sleeping and trying to get over body aches. This was no fun for either of us, but we got to have each other. I was able to be there with her. Rainy cried when I had to go back to work, and I understood. Going back to work was like leaving a part of my family that I rarely ever got to see. I don’t mind working. I’m not the guy that is trying to retire early, so I can stick my toes in the sand and a beer in my hand. I do miss my morning times with my family though, and if Jesus is willing, I’d love to be able to work from home someday.

There’s a part of your family that I think most people don’t see anymore. Well, at least most people I know and think of. In today’s world you have working parents, as in, both parents run off to work and the children go to daycare until school becomes an option. This is normal for today, and to many it’s a perfectly viable and workable option. Is it a good thing, I don’t think so, but it’s a workable option. Our family is blessed to be in a financial position where Rainy is able to stay home with our kids and be that stable mother they know and can count on each day to be there. My first marriage was the working parents’ marriage, and our kids went to daycare. With Rainy, our kids have her all day. There is a difference, several in the way the home runs. Yet, like I said, not everyone can do this.

My cousin and his family are working parents. Their kids are now school age, so they go to school anyways, but the fact is if their mom could stay home, she would. My cousin was a stay-at-home dad for almost a year, and he loved it. His wife was home with their first two for most of their baby years, and she loved it. The problem is money, and society, and the fact that they simply needed to work to survive. This is the case for most, I think. Except those who somehow stay home without working, and yet make money. These types somehow doubled possibly tripled after covid hit. I have yet to figure out their secrets.

          I was ok going to work. My job is not demanding of my time. I leave stupidly early in the morning, so this would have me home before my kids were out of school. My kids have had this routine since they were born, so we’ve all gotten pretty used to it. I’m off on all weekends, most holidays, and I get paid vacation time. Not a bad set up; when you shop around for jobs these days. I’ve looked at other potential jobs, and most of my tradesman skills and computer skills land me in jobs that guarantee over time, weekends, and or holidays . . . no thanks. I had a job offer as a lube technician, basically changing oil and minor work in vehicles, for $24 an hour, but, but-but, I’d work Saturdays, and wouldn’t be home until after 6 in the evening. This would wipe out almost all of my time with my kids. The money is great, don’t get me wrong, but I’d never be with my family.

I had a job where I worked long hours, took it for about a year, as a teacher, and I left after that year. The money was great. More money than I’d ever known. I was making close to $70K in one year. That’s a lot for a guy that works at a church daycare. Yet, one major problem, I was never home, had work on the weekends, and was getting attitude and heavy suggestions for me to put in MORE hours at work for after school programs, Saturday learning sessions, and more. Yeah, no, my family comes before work. I quite that job, burned through some savings, and ended back at my church daycare position where I still am.

I have learned a major lesson in my life in time that it still can help me and my family. Time is more valuable than money. When I was gone all evening for that one year, my family took a major hit. For my family, not everyone’s I understand, I was always there. They relied on me to be there with them. For that one year I wasn’t, and none of us liked it. Time, not time wasted doing nothing, but time spent with those you love, is so much more valuable than money. Money is needed to keep a roof over your head, supply food, keep utilities running, believe me I know. I know all too well the cost of living. I’m not saying money isn’t important. I am saying, time with those you love is more important.

Today I went back to work. Today I missed my morning silliness with my toddlers. Today I missed spending the morning with my wife and being able to help her with our newborn. Today I missed holding my newborn, Ember, and being able to spend so much more time with her. Today I missed a family gathering around the living room with my in-laws, sis, and our family for most of the early day. I came home at the end of it, tired, barely able to keep my eyes open. Today I went back to work, because, that’s what my family requires of me, but I didn’t want to go.

Enjoy what time God has given you with those you love. Take time with those you love and those God has put in your life. I don’t know what God has planned for us in Eternity. Every time I try to put that puzzle together I end up with the same problem, I don’t have all the pieces, not even close, no one does. So, take it from a guy that has had this lesson laid out and answered for him, time is more valuable than money. Take time, when you can.

Side Note: It occurs to me why some men and now even women are leaving their families. This is just a thought after writing this journal entry, so don’t take it to facts too hard, but maybe the reason men and now even women leave is because they don’t have that necessary attachment to their family. Men, for the longest of times, were expected to work and give themselves to their work for most of their lives. Men didn’t have time with their wife and kids, and this hasn’t changed much in today’s society. What has change is the fact that now even women, the mothers, are giving themselves to work and are being expected, slowly but surely, to sacrifice just as much, for their careers. This leaves women separated from their families just like men, and the statistics are showing that more and more women are leaving their families behind.

          This is just a side note. I have looked at statistics over women leaving families. My former wife left her family for her career, so I had some reason to try and understand.

Just remember, time is more important than money. Your children, unless they’re brats that are used to your money instead of your love, will want your time more than your money. Your spouse should always want your time more than your money or something is off in that relationship. I joke with Rainy that she married a broke sugar daddy. She usually just laughs and tells me “At least you know I didn’t marry you for your money.”

Anyway, side note over.

Trust that Jesus loves you.