Journal Entry 22: Difficult to Accept

Jesus, if you're not in it, I don't want it.

Journal Entry 22: Difficult to Accept

“Dad, if God allowed something evil to happen to you or to my girl, I don't think I could stand to be in heaven.” Reid, my 16yr. Old son declared this fact as we were talking about evil in the world, and those that commit it upon others.

We some how got on the topic of evil people hurting others, and why God would allow this. Reid is becoming his own man, and one of his fears is something happening to his girl with him powerless to stop it. I think this is perhaps the fear of most men. The idea of failing to protect your loved one’s. It scares me. I don't like killing, I'm no warrior, and I've barely been in a fight sense my school years. But if someone came after my loved ones, I'd fight to the death and hope Jesus was on my side.

The scary part is that bad things, evil, true evil, happens to people, even our loved one’s. Sometimes we're their and we have the chance to stop it, yet, there will be times we won't be there. I have two grown daughters that are out in the world, and I pray and hope for them, but I'm not there to protect them. God is, and, as I told my son, sometimes, for reasons I don't truly understand, God allows evil to happen to us.

Evil has happened. I hurt at this. I get angry at this, and I don't understand why this evil was allowed. My son, Reid, spoke with truth, fear, and frustration on this topic this weekend. He asked the question I knew, or had a good guess, was surfacing.

“Why does God allow evil to happen?” Before I could attempt to answer such a question, he stopped me. “I mean evil, like rape, murder, torturing children, nightmares like that.”

I closed my mouth at my attempt to answer. My brain went into search mode for answers to such a question. With silence sitting up in the air between us, I finally answered the only thing that came to mind. “We live in a broken world, and the Bible tells us if God ripped out all evil right now he would destroy the good as well.” My son looked at me, sighed, and said he knows that. In other words, that answer isn’t good enough, dad. Try harder, old man.

I went to work today with this same question on my mind. Research will give you the same answer in a different format that I gave my son. It leaves a lot to be desired, for me, anyways. I did go back and look up the verse I was trying to explain to my son. The explanation here is fairly simple, not what my son wanted, but it is an answer.

Matthew 13:24-30 KJV

“24 Another parable put he forth unto them, saying, The kingdom of heaven is likened unto a man which sowed good seed in his field:

25 But while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat, and went his way.

26 But when the blade was sprung up, and brought forth fruit, then appeared the tares also.

27 So the servants of the householder came and said unto him, Sir, didst not thou sow good seed in thy field? from whence then hath it tares?

28 He said unto them, An enemy hath done this. The servants said unto him, Wilt thou then that we go and gather them up?

29 But he said, Nay; lest while ye gather up the tares, ye root up also the wheat with them.

30 Let both grow together until the harvest: and in the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, Gather ye together first the tares, and bind them in bundles to burn them: but gather the wheat into my barn.”

Matthew 13:24-30 KJV

This passage above does answer the question. The enemies of God, Satan, the fallen angels turned demons with Satan, and of course sin, are still here, because destroying it now would hurt all the good that is still to come. This isn’t the answer that explains why a daughter is raped, why a son is murdered, or why a mother watches her child starve unable to nurture the child. Horrible crap happens on our planet, and I wish it didn’t. It does. Why, why doesn’t God assign some arch angel to swoop in and slice down the truly evil? I don’t know.

I also don’t know how man could choose to be good and overcome the darkness, if there was no darkness. A wounded person, that fights for their faith and pushes forward is going to be levels stronger than a person who’s never suffered. You want a strong person that not only overcomes challenges, but also finds it in their heart to sacrifice time/money/energy to help another person? They have to have the opportunity to do so.

This doesn’t answer why evil is allowed to happen to us. No. But it does go along the bible explanation previously mentioned.

God didn’t want us to suffer evil. We weren’t supposed to be in a broken world. The enemy, and then human kind, broke this world and left our hearts in sin and corruption. We did this to us. The good news is that God is still willing to work with us and rescue us.

I don’t want evil to happen to my children, to my wife. It has. My wife suffered the streets as an orphan in a violent place as a child. I was abused, beaten over and over again by a raging alcoholic until I was old enough to hold my own. My children have suffered from drugs, bullies, and half of them suffered the loss of a selfish woman that gave up her right to be called mother until it was too late to change and she died. Evil, human weakness and sin, has speared into my own family. I have no doubt evil has reached its talons around all of us. This is where faith, hope, and love in Jesus shines.

I have faith that Jesus sees us, knows us, and loves us. On my journal I have it written, several times, “Trust that Jesus loves you.” Bad things are going to happen in this broken world. I have to trust and have faith that Jesus loves me and knows me. Death will claim this mortal body of mine, but it will not have my soul. My soul belongs to Jesus.

Why is evil allowed to happen to us? The world is a broken place full of sin and evil. Evil within a human is sin and a stone heart not yet broken and remade by a faith in Jesus. An evil person can do evil for years, hurting many, and then, by the grace of God, be saved. Evil people can change. Good people can overcome and do better. Kill a man who commits a crime today, and you may have killed a man who might have followed Christ in the years to come, helping others. We don’t know.

The final thing I’ll say on this is death is not permanent. Pain is not permanent. Evil has been done to us and we’ve probably committed ourselves in some way. This is not permanent. There is eternal life with Jesus, and there, finally, there will be peace and joy, love and laughter.

I can’t give you the answer. This article wasn’t about a perfect answer. I don’t know one. This article was about expressing a frustration at a fact raised by my son on the topic of evil. This article was about me expressing that you’re not alone in this feeling and this frustration. This was about looking to Jesus even in the times of evil. I hope, in some small way, that this has helped.